By Koty Neelis in Culture / 4175 views / January 28, 2013
Richard, The Beach by Alex Garland
I read this book recently because I heard it was a must read for anyone heading to Southeast Asia even though its popularity waned in the early 2000s after Leonardo DiCaprio starred in the film. The book was a little bland for my taste but the story’s narrator Richard, the young and sexy British backpacker, reminded me of the handsome foreign men I’ve met on my own independent travels.
There’s something about Richard’s naivety and search for dangerous adventure that’s incredibly appealing but also annoying at the same time. He’s the kind of guy you’d take back to your hostel but ditch after grabbing the free pancake breakfast in the morning.
Rob Fleming, High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
Call me a hipster if you want but I love a man with an expansive record collection and who lists Taxi Driver as one of his top five films. Rob was the kind of guy you could have awesome sex with AND fall in love with. He was adorable and goofy, if not a bit weird I admit, although I’d never be able to deal with his obsession with his exes.
I’ve met this type of guy everywhere from Asheville to Williamsburg and in every other hipster haven around the world, and although I’ve dated this type before it ultimately never works out.
Patrick Bateman, American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
Okay, you’re probably thinking I’m completely weird and insane for having sociopath and serial killer Patrick Bateman on my list but haven’t we all dated or fooled around with someone a little mentally unhinged?
Patrick might have been nuts but he had a collection of expensive beauty products to die for and great taste in ‘80s pop music. Besides, it’s the crazy ones who have the best pills.
Professor Snape, Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
Yes, I’d do Professor Snape. There. I said it. He had a very Trent Reznor/Nine Inch Nails/late ‘90s industrial music scene vibe going on in the films that I was totally into. Such a dreamboat.
Uncle Ray, White Oleander by Janet Fitch
Janet Fitch’s beautiful and frightening novel about an incredibly talented poet Ingrid that goes to prison for murder, leaving her daughter Astrid alone to face America’s foster care system was one story many couldn’t forget.
While this still remains one of my favorite books of all time the one character I couldn’t get out of my mind was Uncle Ray, the boyfriend of Astrid’s foster mom Starr. He smelled like fresh cut wood, beer, and cigarettes and his construction job left him with a tan, chiseled body even Ryan Gosling would be jealous of.
Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin
You can’t have a list like this and not name one of, if not THE, most desirable male characters of all time. Hands down Mr. Darcy will always win, especially when he’s played by Colin Firth in the film adaptation.
His character famously represented chivalry and all things a gentleman should do and be, on top of being also incredibly smart and cultured. Mr. Darcy isn’t at the top of my list because honestly, I thought he was a little pompous, but I’d let him hit it.
Tom Booker, The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans
Tom Booker is a man they say can calm wild horses and whose touch can heal broken spirits. If he looks anything like Robert Redford as he did in the film I’d be headed out to Montana to get him to whisper to my horse too, if you know
what I mean.
Nicholas Evans wrote probably one of the worst sex scenes ever in this book, which made me very sad, but at least it doesn’t come even close to E.L. James’ descriptions of a “Christian Grey flavored lollipop” in 50 Shades.