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There was a time, dear readers, when waist-lines were high, crotches were low, and shiny fabric clung to the muscled crevices of the calf. Yes, the 80s were a time of confusion and chaos, most obviously in light of the emergence of “the Hammer pant.” Rapper MC Hammer burst onto the scene with his “Genie In A Bottle” look in tow, swivelling his hips and shuffling his feet to the tune of his smash hit, “Can’t Touch This.” Boybands, rap stars and even your run-of-the-mill Joe were soon walking the streets in these unseemly jodhpurs, before somebody’s girlfriend finally had enough and the trend faded out. Of course, it’s been picked up many a time since then, but we’re hoping the Hammer/harem/parachute pant is soon to be buried in hell. Where it belongs. In fire.

Try as we might, we can’t put the blame entirely on Mr. Hammer for the eyesores of the 80s. And so, we bring you a glimpse back to the fashion crimes and misdemeanors of the decade that brought us white Michael Jackson, scrunchies and Pacman. Motion sickness bag not included.