I’m a smorgasbord (Editor’s Note: Smorgasburg?) of emotions after watching this last episode of Girls. Entitled “Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too”, the answer to the somewhat cliff-hangeresque ending of last weeks episode is pretty clear. Yes, the perfectly quirky and emotionally challenged Hannah has officially taken a man, and it’s none other than burgeoning actor and resident kinky hipster, Adam. You know, the same Adam that Dunham has spent the last seven episodes attempting to make us hate. I’m so confused. I feel as though I should continue to mistrust and loathe the bizarro giant with the big ears, and yet suddenly I find it so difficult.
As my mother always suggests, when faced with a conundrum such as this, it’s always best to put together a good ol’ Pro-Con list. So I present to you: the case for and against Hipster Adam.
Pro: Moments spent in bed watching home videos of his floppy-eared childhood (adorable).
Con: Moments spent in shower where he PEES ON YOU.
Pro: Game of Thrones references used as “dirty talk” in bed.
Con: Pedophilia references used as “dirty talk” in bed.
Pro: The fucking cutest running in Greenpoint scene ever. I have always said, I am not a runner. A runner I am not. And just as Hannah breathlessly gasps, “endorphins don’t work on me. The prophecy of runners is BULLSHIT.”
Con: Okay, there is no comparable con. That was fucking adorable.
Pro: He’s passionate about his “art”.
Con: He’s passionate about acting in bad Off-Broadway one-man shows. Ew.
Pro: He makes you wear matching white onesies with holes in the crotch “so you can pee”.
Con: Again, moments spent in the shower where he PEES ON YOU.
All in all, the progression in Adam and Hannah’s relationship leaves me feeling a mix of aspirational (perhaps the assholes we spend so much time sleeping with really can change) and misanthropic (the assholes I spend so much time sleeping with really never will change). Of course, all is not perfect in relationship-ville. Turns out Adam has some wee little anger issues, but of course, his way of making up for his un-necessary outburst is a grand, romantic gesture, certifying him as a modern-day Casanova. You know, it’s not every day a guy will plaster a Brooklyn wall with posters that say “I’m Sorry” in order to win back your adoration.