Tensions are running high in Greenpoint this week as Girls begins to conclude its first season. Episode Nine, “Leave Me Alone” opens at the book party of an old college “frenemy” (or nemesis as Hannah puts it), Tally, who is celebrating the launch of her first memoir, Leave Me Alone, about the experience of losing her boyfriend to suicide. Unsurprisingly, Hannah is less than pleased. Because people that Hannah knows are not allowed to be successful. Instead all must be equally as miserable and self-deprecating while they philander all talent and opportunity that is before them.

“Your boyfriend should kill himself. Because you deserve it.” Fodder for her first novel indeed.

Tally, as obscenely obnoxious as she may be, provided us with many a fantastic one-liner in her short screen time: on Hannah’s struggle to write: “I just water-birthed my truth. It was so fluid”; to the New Yorker Editor: “If I was still in my experimental phase, I would rip this off and get right into it”; on weight: “I want to be so skinny that people are like, oh my god, do you have a disease?” Classic.

Luckily for Hannah’s obviously lacking self-esteem, her favorite professor makes an appearance, and even seems to remember her esteemed essay from her college days on the time she was grounded for wearing shorts. Huh? How short could those shorts have possibly been? “Hot for teacher” convinces Hannah to join him for a reading salon, and much to her hesitation, Hannah decides to go. But not before whining and moaning about how horrible reading salons are, of course. Needless to say, I’m back to thinking that Hannah is simply THE WORST.

Might I ask, what’s happened to Shoshanna? Why is it that the BEST character on the show; the one with the perfect one-liners and manic personality gets zero screen time? Luckily for us, we get a brief moment with the Shosh when she divulges to Jessa that she’s “done something a little crazy. I joined an online dating site.” Motivated by Tally’s brush with boyfriend suicide, it seems our naive little bird has decided to take control of her life and find a way to truly be happy.