Shosh “joined because it was the most expensive sign up fee and only ugly people use Match[.com],” and has met a lovely Jewish boy named Bryce (“Good name, right??”), who she plans to meet at the cafe at the Old Navy flagship store. Why??!! Why on earth was this date not the subject of the ENTIRE episode? Instead we never see her again and are forced to watch Marnie and Hannah bitch and moan at each other about how horrible they are and argue over who “the wound” in the relationship is. More on that later.

In other news, Hannah has decided to join Ray as a hipster barista at Greenpoint local haunt Café Grumpy (Side note: this recap is super meta because I happen to be sitting in said café enjoying an espresso and rhubarb corn muffin while I attempt to wax sarcastic over the fictional characters who reside here). Ray is another character that is completely underutilized considering his ability to deliver dry and sarcastic wit that seems to help put everything in perspective. In my wildest dreams, season two of Girls will see the majority of the cast murdered and it will turn into the Shoshanna and Ray show. What do you think the chances of that are?

I suppose the most crucial element of last night’s episode was the big blow-out between Marnie and Hannah. Tensions built throughout the episode until finally the two of them start screaming at each other about their respective utter selfishness, their inability to think of others and their general “bad friend”-ness, all of this finally resulting in Marnie stating that she’s moving out and Hannah, of course, trying to get the last words. Doors slam, credits roll, and we’re meant to give a shit as to whether they actually decide to go through with this.

I await the season finale next week with mild anticipation. I don’t know that I really care whether the two brats stay together or not, but I’m praying that we get a glimpse of Shoshanna’s date with the Jew, that Ray has some words of wisdom for us and that Jessa does SOMETHING interesting. Aside from that, we’ll have to wait and see.