She’s back! Thank the good folks at HBO, Lena Dunham is back.
After the painfully embarrassing sex scene in the first episode of Girls, which involved a highly verbose Hannah explaining her reasoning for not taking it in the butt, all the while being penetrated from behind, my unwavering affection for L.D. seemed at risk. I’m sorry, but there is not a woman in the world who would do that. If a guy puts it in the wrong hole, you don’t have a chat about it; you slip it in where it fits and keep going. This mess pained me to watch not because of its intended awkwardness but because it threatened to ruin my theory that Dunham is capable of writing some of the best sex scenes in the realm of recent indie hipsterdom. Who could forget the giant metal tubing in Tiny Furniture?
The second episode of the series opens up on a wide shot of Hannah Horvath (Dunham), and her creepy hipster sex buddy Adam, going at it. With her legs up over her head as he penetrates her with the speed and urgency of a jack-hammer, the pair enact some of the creepiest role playing I’ve witnessed on television. Is “dirty talk” only sexy in theory? God forbid you were to catch a recording of the experience, would you end up with something along the lines of Cabbage Patch dolls and, “sending you home to your parents covered in cum,” because you are, of course, “a filthy slut”? Is that really what we sound like?
“That was great, that was so great, that was really really great.” Hannah pants as Adam finally collapses on top of her. “I almost came.” If I had a penny for every “almost” I’ve experienced in my life… well, I would have an unfortunately full jar of pennies.
“Oh em gee, I just lol’d myself to an early grave.” I text a girlfriend (Editor’s note: it was me!), as I quietly snickered to myself while trying to discreetly watch the episode at the office this morning. Because there is obviously no better place to watch the sexual antics of 20-something’s than in the comfort and total lack of privacy that is your place of work.
Episode two is aptly titled “Vagina Panic”, as it deals with a range of anxieties any sexually active lady gal has had run through their mind. From abortions and STDs to the “stuff gets up around the sides of condoms,” and a debilitating fear of contracting the HIV/AIDS virus, it covers all the bases. If it’s not enough to put you off sex for a while, it’ll definitely be a good reminder to book your next appointment at Planned Parenthood. (More after the jump).