Allow me to preface this episode recap with a bit of an aside on the recent controversy surrounding the series. It seems the gates of hipster hell have opened, as the premiere of a new show, focused entirely on the lives of some 20-something, middle class, white chicks living in Brooklyn, leading 20-something white chick lives, has spawned the criticism of experts, critics, twitterers (or twats as I like to call them/us) and really anyone with a lap top. From classism to racism and all the way around to feminism, the critiques of this 30-minute HBO comedy, penned by an intelligent and undeniably witty 25-year old, have been bordering on absurd.
Do I agree that there is a gaping hole of ethnicity in this show? Absolutely. Do I agree that there is a monotony of middle class entitlement on this show? Absolutely. Do I agree that it is verging on anti-feminist and makes us gals out to be paranoid freaks? Well… no, I don’t really agree with that, but that’s not the point right now. My point is this: As mentioned briefly in my last episode recap, this show is by no means an anthropological study of the Brooklyn hipster. It is a well-written comedy, that is absolutely poignant and speaks to a wide audience through the very narrow lens of a very specific segment of that audience.
I will be exploring this further in an upcoming article, where we break down the many sides of the argument for and against Girls, but I felt it necessary to broach the topic before moving on to my raving depiction of episode three, “All Adventurous Women Do”, which was undeniably the strongest episode so far, with the benefit of being the first episode so far that isn’t forced to spend the first 20 minutes introducing characters and familiarizing the audience with backstories. No, this episode was pure, unbridled humor, light and airy and to the point. So let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about the HPV, homosexual ex-boyfriends and relationship dissatisfaction.
In episode 3 of Girls, we find our heroine (though the term is used lightly) no longer smack in the middle of STD paranoia, but instead confronted with the stark realization that she, in fact, has contracted HPV. From whom? We don’t know yet. Could it be Adam, the self-centred actor with the heart of stone? Well no, he says he’s been tested. Yes readers, the bastard not only claims to have been tested for the virus (for which there is not yet a test available to identify male carriers), but he then proceeds to scold Hannah for even daring to assume it could be him. Because obviously his “best dyke friend is a dick doctor and [he doesn’t] have that shit.” I hate men. Well, I hate fictional assholes like this shithead.
When Hannah confronts Shoshanna about her discovery, the token virgin of the group is ready with words of surprising wisdom. She reminds Hannah that though absolutely a serious virus to contract, it is by no means the end of the world for her. (Note: This IS a serious virus to contract, but there are many methods to control it and the immediate effect on your day to day life is very minimal unless progressed).
“Jessa has HPV. Like a few strains of it,” Shoshanna reveals. “She says all adventurous women do.” Oy. Not surprisingly, this news does alleviate Hannah’s stress and upon the advice of our token virgin seeks out her ex-boyfriend Elijah to reveal to him that he may or may not have given her an STD. Cut to revealing of overtly homosexual college boyfriend (played by Tony Award nominated Book of Mormon star Andrew Rannells) who then reveals that he is in fact, an overt homosexual. Cut to Hannah bursting into tears, citing “an inappropriate physical reaction to my joy for you and your self-discovery”.
What else happens in episode three? Well, Jessa finds gainful post-pregnancy-scare employment as a babysitter to two amazing (very Apatow) kids, one of whom is writing a novel about the divorce of a family (ya… she’s seven… but it’s New York, right?). Of course, the irresistibly boho blonde catches the attention of the father, sharing a joint and bonding over their shared lack of direction. Wonder where that is going to take us…
In other news, Marnie continues to loathe the very existence of her doting boyfriend Charlie, giving him a pile of shit for shaving his head (god, I hate when boys get haircuts) before finding out it’s in support of a co-worker battling cancer. Perfect timing to introduce a new character, Booth Jonathan, the douche-bag artist currently showing at Marnie’s ultra-hip Chelsea gallery. Played by The Lonely Island’s Jorma Taccone, who has seen a slew of amazing guest spots this year, including his hilarious turn as Maya Rudolph’s hip hop star ex-boyfriend on Up All Night, he radiates everything that Marnie feels she is missing from her relationship.
Though she lets him know that there will be no funny business between the pair, that doesn’t stop the little sexy man from pinning her against the gate of the Chelsea High Line and whispering, “The first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little. Because I’m a man. And I know how to do things,” before walking off into the New York evening. This of course prompts Marnie to run back to her gallery’s opening to furiously masturbate in the bathroom. Because that’s what we all do at work parties. Masturbate.
After a long, hard day for Hannah, the episode ends with the quintessential dilemma of our generation. How do I fit my day’s life lesson into 140 characters?
“My life sucks. My ex-boyfriend is dating a man.” Nope.
“All adventurous women do.” Ah, yes. That’ll do.
The moral of the episode is this: If you have contracted an STD, are dating an asshole, or are dissatisfied with your life in anyway, simply open that Spotify app, turn the volume up to 11, and blare Robyn’s “Dancing on My Own” as loud as you possibly can and all of your problems will wash away. I promise.