Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a girl! Hooray! Omg! Right? Wrong. I don’t care. I have defended Kim before, but I can’t drum up enough faux enthusiasm to pretend I care about this baby. The extremely public way in which Kim leads her life, regardless of whether you think it’s right or wrong, means that anything and everything about this baby’s birth and life will be exponentially more accessible than that of many other celebrities children. There’s no mystery or intrigue. Privileged consumer having a privileged baby; it’s just not very interesting.

Celebrities other than the Kardashians have long been fiercely private about their families and the lives of their children, a fair demand to make of complete and utter strangers, which is of course what you and I are to them. Why should we know anything about their most precious gifts? Because we are celebrity obssessed gossip mongers the lot of us, and some of these kids are just really interesting. Here are 8 celebrity children who I find infinitely more interesting than the forthcoming Kimyembryo.

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I Don’t Care About Your Baby: 8 Celebrity Children More Interesting Than The Kim and Kanye Offspring