Unlike most things in life, it can’t be convincingly faked or purchased, despite the efforts of even the most enthusiastic surgeon. If you believe Samantha Jones, 50 is the new 30, but the emergence of a new breed of brat pack of the pre-pubescent variety suggests a harsher reality — if you’ve got pubes you’re washed up, babe. Sorry, but it’s true. Suri Cruise is proof.
Once upon a time famous kids had to pretend to be good at dancing, singing, acting, or all three a la the Mickey Mouse club. Those were the days when Britney was still hot and Lindsay didn’t yet know her way around a bottle of tequila and a crack pipe. So much wasted talent.
Just like Degrassi: The Next Generation and that new Beverley Hills where all the girls are so skinny their shoulder blades double as knives, the torch has been passed from one era of celebrity brats to the next. These kids are smarter, hotter, younger and richer than you’ll ever be, and unlike Xtina, Britney and LiLo, they don’t even bother to pretend to be good at anything other than napping, drooling and pooping. The sweet life.
Say “baby boo boo” to Suri, Blue Ivy, Seraphine and Harper Seven.